CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT THE REST OF THE YEAR BRINGS

My days are getting more exciting with each passing day. Here's a few things that took place during the last couple of days.
I'm walking with my neighbor and as a loving gesture, I place my hand on her butt. I thought it might need a little massaging. Whereupon she cracks me a good one in the eye for getting fresh.


And yes, for those of you who are wondering, her butt is a lot cuter than her face. I wonder why every woman who has heard this version of the story replies with, "Good for you." The guys say, "It must be hell to be old and slow and not be able to get out of the way of an in-coming fist fast enough."

Actually, this is what really happened. I'm working on something in my carport and two parts were stuck together. I'm trying to pull both pieces apart, when all of a sudden it gives way and my right fist flies up and hits me in the right eye. It knocked me backwards, and lucky for me, the truck was there to keep me from falling to the ground. It hurt like hell, but I had presence of mind to look around with my left eye to see if anyone saw me do my "Stupid" trick.

Shortly thereafter, I'm pounding some nails into a piece of wood and had my left arm in a place that it shouldn't have been. Took a swing at the nail, missed it and the board altogether and ended up hitting my left wrist. Raised a large marble sized knot on my arm and it too, hurt like hell. Again, looked around to see if anyone saw me do "Stupid" trick number two. Wouldn't want Steve to cut the beer off.

The next day, I'm flying down the freeway, no on second thought, crawling down the freeway in morning traffic when the person in a vehicle to my right decides to change lanes. She, yes I said she because men don't drive crazy, started crossing into my lane, and my lighting fast evasive action prevented something that could have been more serious. Actually, the fast evasive action was to POOP MY PANTS AND SCREAM LIKE A GIRL. We pulled into the emergency lane and I got out to view the outcome.
The damage was minor and caused by her side mirror which came in contact with the side of my truck and scraped the paint for several feet.

The girl was close to tears, kept apologizing, and said the episode had scared the hell out of her. Now some tears, more apologizing and I'm standing there thinking as my legs are turning to jelly, "Aw, crap." I finally asked her if she planned on being more careful, to which she replied through the tears, "Oh, yes!" I got into my truck and left. As I drove off, I thought to myself, she did what girls do best. Scammed me with tears.

Got to my first appointment and started to check the wiring for a light fixture. Immediately after the flying sparks, I found that I had damaged my meter because I had it on the incorrect setting. Finished the job without further incidents and gathered up my tool caddy, ladder, etc. and headed down to the truck. I set my stuff at the rear of the truck and was fishing for the keys when all of a sudden, the truck started rolling backwards. I'm thinking did I not set the hand brake and why would it start rolling after being parked in the same spot for an hour. When the rear tire rolled onto my tool caddy, I started to SCREAM, again like a girl. The brake lights came on and I'm thinking someone is trying to steal my truck. After the dust had settled, it dawned on me that although it looked like my truck, it really wasn't. Mine was parked several spaces away. Jeez!

My next appointment was to fix a leaky kitchen sink faucet. It was old as dirt and had two handles. Replaced the seals, turned the water valves back on and noticed the right side was still leaking a bit. Shut the water valves off and proceeded to remove the right stem assembly from the faucet body. I needed to clean the stem with water, so I figured I'd open the valve for the left side and open the faucet handle just a little for the water I needed. As luck might have it, I opened the right valve instead of the left. Let's just say the guys ceiling is a little cleaner now. In my defense, the valves were hidden behind more junk than one could imagine and could only feel for what I thought was the correct one. Time for "Stupid" to head home and get into bed.
And yes, this is what duct tape will do for a fix on my tool caddy. I could buy a new one, but my chinese wallet won't let me do it.