Sunday, July 19, 2009


I'm getting to the stage of my life where I am now buying
type of items. For instance, a few months ago, I replaced the roof on my house, and it's supposed to last 30 years. LAST ONE! I bought a circular saw not too long ago, and if it lasts as long as the one I replaced it with, 25 years, it will be......the LAST ONE. Besides, now that I'm hitting myself with a hammer, it shouldn't be too long before I start cutting off my fingers. So, definitely the LAST ONE.

Then the other day, I got to thinking about the bed I've been sleeping on for the past 30 years. That's read right....30 years. Is it too soon to be thinking about buying another one? I don't know much about the working life of beds, but aren't they supposed to last forever? Especially one that isn't getting a whole lot of action lately. Aw, what the hell. I made a couple hundred bucks on a stock sale not too long ago, and the money is burning a hole in my pocket, so maybe I'll spend it on a new bed. Then again, maybe I should save the money to pass on to the kids when I pop off. Kids?....Bed?....Kids?....Hmmm....The bed wins. So I take my two hundred bucks and head for the furniture store. After that, I'll go to the market with the money I have left over and buy a couple of pints of Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream.

Well you guessed it. I was in for a rude awakening with regards to the prices of bed sets. The first set I looked at was priced at $2,400.

What the hell's going on here?!!! I don't remember beds costing this much. As I start heading for the door, a cute sales gal rolls up and offers to answer any questions I might have. "Do dancing girls come with the $2,400. bed? Maybe a butler to turn back the covers each night?" Jeez, maybe I don't need a bed after all. Well, as I said, the sales gal is cute, and I end up buying a bed. Certainly not the $2,400. one, because she wasn't that cute. And for sure this will be....the LAST ONE. She then tells me it's going to cost an extra $60. to have it delivered. Say what?!!! She's getting less cute by the minute. I tell her, "For $60., I'll carry it home on my back!" All the while I’m secretly hoping I can borrow my neighbor's truck.

I’m able to borrow my neighbor's truck and head to the warehouse to pickup the bed. The pick-up procedure was going smoothly, that is until I asked the big Samoan warehouse woman if she would be willing to lie down on the bed with me so I could check it out.
Okay Bob, start running!
Speaking of LAST ONE, I’m considering to have this post be my LAST ONE.