Monday, August 27, 2007


The other day, I arrive at someone's doorstep for an appointment to do some repairs. I see a sign on the door requesting not to ring the doorbell because the baby is sleeping.
very lightly, since I really don't like howling kids around while I'm working.

I'm carrying my tool box and as I enter, it strikes the door jamb and falls to the ceramic floor. Tools went everywhere, and the noise was deafening!
Can you guess what happened next? You got it!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


What would you expect from something named "Flossie."

Monday, August 13, 2007


My roof is 20 years old this year, and it's time for a new one. Can't wait to send State Farm the bill. What's that you say?! I didn't pay my hurricane premium this year. Hmmm....Well, I'll just have to get the candles out and put them in the attic. C'mon Flossie! By the way, Aaron...NO RAISE FOR YOU, THIS YEAR!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


Time to let you know what she really looks like. Sure wish she'd dump her husband so I could move in and become a happy man once again......

Monday, August 6, 2007


The return flight home turned out better than expected. I sweet talked the counter person into giving me an exit aisle seat with lots of leg room.

I hoped to get lucky and see this as I boarded the plane.

Wasn't too lucky and was greeted by this!

The kid a few rows away finally stopped screaming after an hour and the Nazi flight attendant settled down after yelling at the girl next to me about her cell phone being on.
The rest of the trip was uneventful except for the last half hour. As we started to descend, the increase in pressure started to work on me and it wasn't long before the internal gas was looking for a way out. So I figured what the hell, lots of people, they won't know where it came from. Silent and very long.....Unfortunately, I got the first whiff and knew shortly, there was going to be some unhappy people around me. I put my best innocent face on and hoped for the best.

People started squirming in their seats, while looking around and muttering to themselves, and many were reaching for the overhead air vent nozzle. Unfortunately, the seat belt sign was on, so no one could move away. Oh, mama! It was so bad, it brought tears to the eyes of the person sitting next to me, and I could see beads of sweat break out on the forehead of the person across the aisle. Then I thought, that couldn't have been me! However, in case it was me and only me, I made sure not to make eye contact with anyone. Sorry, everyone.