Saturday, February 28, 2009


I was doing some electrical work the other day and decided to do the repair without flipping the breaker switch off located in the circuit breaker panel. Not hard to figure out what happened next.
To make matters worse, the elderly female tenant was standing close by and watching my every move. Hard to be cool while 120volts is coursing through your body, and because I was jumping around like a fish out of water, it didn't take long for the woman to figure out what was happening. Unexpectedly, her immediate response was to laugh. In fact, she thought it was friggin' hilarious. I'll fix you, you ol' biddy. Get ready for a surprise the next time you flip on this switch.

This incident made me recall a few times when I've been shocked in the past. It all started when my dad, who was an electrician by trade, once asked for my help. "Here son, hold onto this wire for me while I twiddle with this thingamajig."
Gee, thanks Dad.

Of the many times I've been stupid enough to mess with electricity, there are two events I will never forget. Once while trying to figure out why the engine in my car was running rough, I decided to grab the spark plug wires one by one and remove them from the spark plugs in order to determine if one was faulty.


I hurt like you wouldn't believe and every appendage hanging from my body went limp. One of them never fully recovered. To make matters worse I was in a blinding rainstorm standing in a foot of water. Raised up, cracked my head on the hood of the car and fell over backwards. I would have probably drowned had it not been for my buddy who pulled me from the water while laughing uncontrollably. "What the hell's so funny."

The second time happened while attempting to fix a television. It was plugged into the outlet and on when I grabbed the big wire connected to the picture tube. It won't take a "rocket scientist" to figure out what happened.


Oh mama, the worst ever. It knocked me across the room and my heart was beating so hard, it almost came out of my chest. "What the hell happened?" "You grabbed the high tension lead, STUPID!"

Friday, February 6, 2009


I'm on the way home after another day of trying to make hamburger money, and as usual, the traffic "sucks."
While sitting at a stop light, my truck is suddenly struck by the vehicle behind me. Not very hard, but enough to wake me from the normal stupor I'm in while traveling in gridlock traffic. I jump out and meet the driver of the other vehicle, a kid who looked to be about 18, at my rear bumper. I'm sayin'
and he's sayin' "Is there any damage?" I check the bumper and didn't see any significant damage, so I said, "No, there doesn't seem to be any damage." The kid looks relieved. I then start jumping around and immediately grab the back of my neck with both hands and tell the kid again that I didn't see any damage to the truck, but my neck sure is hurting like hell. The kid's eyes almost bulged out of his head
and I thought he was going to have a coronary on the spot. I said, "JUST KIDDING" and immediately got back in my truck and started to drive off. I could see him in the rear view mirror standing there with the

look on his face.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Want to listen to a news story that will ruin your day? Click on link below. When page is viewed, click on "Listen Now" above picture of Timothy Cole.