This morning, while sittin' on the I started wondering why humans are the only ones that need to use to wipe their butts. Except for humans, I can't think of any species in the animal kingdom that does this.Watch animals take a crap. When finished, there is no mess around the bum hole. Hence, no need for toilet paper. Man manages to crap all over himself. Why? Why? Why?
So, I walk out of my house yesterday and find my neighbor golfing in a tree.He thinks those little balls hanging on the tree are golf balls. Funny....He doesn't look like a "Portagee" or for those of you in the mid-west, a Polock. The kids were standing under the tree yellin', "Mama, look at da boo boo," and the wife was rollin' her eyes upward and wondering if it would be worth the trouble to call the insurance company to increase the payout on him. Don't wait.....call the agent. I'll help you spend the money.
Want to have some fun with TSA while going through the security line with your laptop? Guaranteed to put you in their good graces and you'll find yourself moving through the line at a much quicker pace. It will be fun...Trust me.
My kitchen range doesn't get much action. Like new, for being 21 years old. This is leading up to something I've never done before. Jessica loves cookies. Every day, she comes to the door yellin' "cookie, cookie." Unfortunately, she can't eat cookies containing chocolate, which doesn't leave much of a selection to choose from. So, I decided to bake her some oatmeal/raisin cookies. A first for me and I am now having to agree with Gen that I'm turning into a friggin' "girlie man." Might as well do it up right and just castrate myself. Done 15 minutes later and I sampled one. Tasted pretty good. Had another, then another, and another, until all 12 were gone. Sorry Jess, you'll have to wait for the next batch. BURP!